Friday, January 28, 2011

He Loves You For You


Every time I step outside of my dorm room,
I see friends embracing and spending time together,
And couples cuddling.

I’ll admit it,
I’m jealous.

You know the feeling.
The desire to fit in, to have a place,
A place where your understood and accepted for you.

When I’m here, I feel like I’m missing it.

Love.

Naturally, it’s what we want, what we yearn for.

We spend our whole lifetime searching for it.
As babies, we search for love from our parents by being held close,
As children, we search for it through their praise and approval,
As teens, we search for their support, quality time with friends, and begin to desire attention from a significant other,
As young adults, we search for friends and a soul mate,
And as parents, we search for appreciation from our families.

It is contact with people that we want.
But people often fail us.
Why?
Because
“No one is righteous--not even one.”
-Romans 3:10

People make mistakes, they sin, and they hurt us in the process.
When that happens, we turn to others
And they may temporarily help us, but along the road, we get hurt again
Whether intentionally or unintentionally.

Catch 22.
It’s a never-ending cycle
That we constantly toss ourselves into.


We constantly get caught up in our failure to find love from our parents, friends, 
or our crush (which is appropriately named)
That we forget about God’s love for us.

God’s love is
Pure
as in there is no greater, stronger, untainted love!
Unlimited
as in it has no boundaries or exceptions!
Everlasting
as in it has no end!


God’s love is so great that He left His comfort zone in heaven on His throne to experience all of the pain and temptations of life.
So great that He died the most painful death.
(I know that you know that, but just contemplate for a second how big of a sacrifice He made.)
So great that it is unfathomable,
So great that we have a hard time grasping it.

It’s easy for us to think that God forgets about us because 
we don’t physically see Him, 
spend time with Him, or are able to embrace Him.
However, that is no reason to underestimate His love.
The Bible is full with proof of His love.

Example:

“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you,”
-Jeremiah 1:4

God didn’t just create the process of reproduction,
He takes the time to form each one of His creations.
He knows us before we are even born,
Before we existed,
Before our parents, who created us, knew us.

Now think about this:
If He knew us before they did, and if our parents are the people that love us the most,
How much more is His love for us than our parent's love for us?!
It’s indescribable.

Mom and Dad, I love you,
But your love doesn’t even compare to the love God has for me.
That is pretty amazing.

So, when you realize how great His love is,
You might be afraid,
Afraid of messing up and losing His love.

But don’t fear.
Our God is a God of mercy.
His mercy is free.
It is a gift;
It cannot be earned.
It is never ending.
Over and over again, He forgives us and takes us back because of His love for us.

The best part about God’s love for us is that is not forced.
It is His choice to love us.
God (pure and holy) willingly, voluntarily decides to love us (dirty sinners).
He wants us even though we disregard Him,
 Even though we need Him
But usually don’t really want Him.
He always loves us though we don’t always reciprocate.


Without even knowing, we search everywhere for a love as great as His,
But it’s right in front of us.
He is always by our side,
waiting for the day that we except Him into our life.

So, I have realized that I don’t need to search any longer or be jealous anymore.
Why?
 Because I do have someone that loves me.
Someone that loves me more than any person on this earth even has the ability to,
unconditionally
no matter where I am or at what point I may be in my life—high or low.
I have a God that loves me.
He knows me inside out and He still loves me.

He loves me when I fail,
He loves me when I make a fool of myself,
He loves me when I mess up,
He loves me when I sin
And He always takes me back.

Not only does He love me despite all my mistakes and sins,
He is thee only one that will love me to that extent!

God, I love you.
Not for your blessings in my life or your gift of eternal life.
Just you.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Attention Worry Warts and Chronic Stressers: Rejoice!


I’m a professional at messing up.
Seriously, it’s not even funny.

I trip on my own two feet, I run into people, I can’t keep my facts straight, 
I stutter,
I talk without thinking
and I always say the wrong thing.
But worst of all, I sin.
Over and over, I make mistakes.

And when I mess up, I forget to focus on God.
I get frustrated because I can never get it right. And I see a trend with that.
I am always at my lowest when I’m drifting away from God, when I’m stressed and caught up with my life, leaving no time for my daily time with God.

I hate that when my day gets busy,
My time with God, devoted to reading the Bible and praying, is the thing that gets cut out.
I am ashamed of that.
That shouldn’t even be a possibility.
I can do without an A on my next A&P quiz in order to spend time with God.

When I talk to my dad on the phone, he always asks me how things are going.
I tell him about my current stresses brought on by school.
He is glad that I am a devoted student and I don’t settle for less than my best but you know what he always tells me?
In his broken English, he says,
“School and your education are important but they won’t get you into heaven.”

It brings me back to reality and reminds me of what my real purpose in life 
should be.

As I started to read Chapter 2 of “Crazy Love”, 
these exact thoughts were confronted.
(God’s timing for everything is perfect.)


“Rejoice in the Lord always…Do no be anxious about anything.”
Phil. 4:4&6

Chan uses this verse to show us that God does not want us to get consumed by the stresses of this world. He points out that this is a command; this is what God wants us to do. And when we let the world get to us and we focus on our lives, our stresses, and our worries, we are in essence telling God that “our circumstances are more important than God’s command to always rejoice. In other words, that [we] have a “right” to disobey God because of the magnitude of [our] responsibilities.”

He also makes a brilliant point about worry and stress.
I can’t say it any better, so here it is in his words:
“Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives.
Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control.”

I am straight up ashamed to think that my actions convey these thoughts to God when I worry or when I stress.
 After everything He has done for me, this is how I show my “thanks”?

Our lives are short.
You might be thinking, but the life expectancy of the average person is 67.2 years.
Yes, you are correct, but how old are you?
I am 18 and I cannot believe how fast the past 18 years of my life have gone by.
High school flashed by in the blink of an eye
And I don’t know where the first semester of my college experience has gone.
Days seem like hours, weeks like days, and months like weeks.
That’s how fast time flies
And I hate to break it to you, time only goes by faster as we get older.

My point?
If life is short, this should be all the more reason for us to focus on God.
And if life isn’t short enough as it is or if you don’t believe me,
Think about the fact that you could die prematurely.
People die every day, in car accidents, work accidents, freak accidents, and because of health problems.
Who says that that isn’t going to happen to you or me?
We like to believe that that won’t happen to us
And I really hope it doesn’t,
But we need to get over ourselves.
We aren’t invisible and we don’t live forever.
But incase it does happen, I want to make sure I am right with God
And the best way to assure that is to walk with Him each and every day,
To take time out of my “busy” schedule and devote it to him.

And our time with God is much needed.
Why?
Because we are fragile and life is unstable,
We need help to get through it all.
We need Him regularly, on a daily basis.

In addition to ourselves, people all over the world are struggling. 
People search for meaning in life. 
In the song, "It's You", Phil Joel sings, 

"It's You that I've been looking for
In worn out faces
Behind closed doors
It's You
I've been looking for

It's You that I've been trying to reach
I spent my money on beautiful things
But it's You
I've been looking for"

People search for something to fulfill them, and that something is God.
 With life being so short, 
We need to make that much more of an effort to share God with others.
You could change a life,
put a smile on someone's face again,
or even give someone a reason to live again.

Living for God,
That gives purpose to life.
 

I was talking to a friend today about my current struggles,
And she gave me the best advice, which happens to go with all of this 
(and makes a rather good closing statement).
It's short and sweet but
  It reminds me to focus on God among my "hectic" life.


"In the face of fear,
Face God.”

And to go along with that,
remember:

“Rejoice in the Lord always…Do not be anxious about anything.”
Phil. 4:4&6

 

Saturday, January 8, 2011

He Never Lets Go



If you’re a fan of Michael Bubble or have heard his song “Home”, then you’re familiar with the lyrics.

“Maybe surrounded by, A million people I, Still feel all alone”.

If you’ve ever felt like that, I am sorry. And if you haven’t (which I sincerely hope you haven’t), I wish you never ever have to experience the sensation.

To feel alone is horrendous. And I don’t mean alone as in you don’t have a significant other or a friend physically present with you, I mean to literally feel alone and lost. To be among a vast world, whether it be your campus (if you attend college) or your town (if your living just trying to make it in the world) or wherever you may be, and to have acquaintances but no true connections and don’t know who to turn to. The worst thing about being or feeling alone is that you are tortured by your mind. You think constantly and focus on how life could be better.

I know the feeling, so I can sympathize with those going through it. But I have good news; you don’t have to feel alone because God is always with you.

Just listen to this song.
(copy and past the URL)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y83-vMeWc9E

God is with us, even when we don’t realize it. When we hurt, we may not realize that He is next to us, ready with a shoulder to cry on. But He is.  That’s how much He loves us. He knows when we are hurting.

I once heard this great analogy to how God feels about our pain:
God is our Father and like a earthly father, He has children (and we are His children).
When a child gets hurt or is hurting, their father wishes he could take away their pain.
They would rather go through their pain than see them hurting.
Our heavenly father is the same way.
When we cry, He cries.
He goes through everything we go through.
So, when we are hurting, instead of trying to suffer through it alone, we just need to turn to Him and He will help us through everything. It’s true, He never lets go.

 Chapter 1 of “Crazy Love” has brought my attention back to God and His awesome character and awesome love. And it helps me feel better knowing that I have a God looking over me that loves me.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

So, these are some of the things that really stuck out to me while reading the book and that I have found comfort in. The thoughts are all kind of random so don’t be alarmed that this isn’t all exactly coherent with transition sentences (this isn’t English class after all :)).
I hope these thoughts can be of comfort to you when you are hurting as they were for me.

“God said to Moses, “I Am who I Am.”” – Exodus 3:14
I saw this verse in the book and it has never meant much to me until now that I stopped to ponder it.
My thought process:
Living in a world where change is constant and life keeps going without stop, we yearn for something constant in our lives. That’s why people long for a significant other to spend the rest of their life with. They want someone to be there with them on the bumpy ride of life and help them get through it. However, people aren’t always constant. Things happen and people leave, but God? God is always the same… yesterday, today and tomorrow. He won’t decide one day to change the plan of salvation or decide that He doesn’t want to forgive our sins anymore because He gave His word and He will keep it. God himself says, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 3:15) It is a comfort to know that He is always there when I need Him and He will always love me.

I love this point Chan (the author of the book) made about God and his holiness. He said it so perfectly that I don’t want to try summarizing it. So here it is.
“Many Spirit-filled authors have exhausted the thesaurus in order to describe God with the glory He deserves. His perfect holiness, by definition, assures us that our words can’t contain Him. Isn’t it a comfort to worship a God we cannot exaggerate?”
Let me answer that; yes, it is!

God is all-knowing. Woah! That means that he knows everything. Our God is “the maker of the billions of galaxies and thousands of tree species in the rainforest. This is the God who takes the time to know all the little details about each of us. He does not have to know us so well, but He chooses to.” (Because He loves us!) He knows our thoughts before we even think them and he knows what will happen in our life tomorrow. And He knows that though we may be hurting, we will get through it.
It’s just another one of His amazing qualities.

 Sometimes, we worry if God even remembers us, if He hears our prayers, or if He cares about us at all. However, if you take some time to look at creation and really think of how it was made or how it works or even how many different species there are, you see how much thought and love He put into His creations to make them the best they could possibly be.
 Within each day of creation, God planned everything…the 228 separate muscles in a caterpillars head, the 6 million leaves on an average Elm tree, and the intricate processes our body performs (cell division, digestion, and the functions of the endocrine and nervous systems). I can’t even fathom how one person, my God, created all of it! That means He thought of all the ideas on His own and they were 100 percent original. He had no designs to copy from anyways because He was the beginning.

What’s really cool is that “God’s art speaks of Himself, reflecting who He is and what He is like.” (Example in Psalm 19:1-4). His creation testifies that He is glorious. And guess what! There is no other like him! That’s why He is my God; He is superior to all. There is no one that has ever lived, that possibly comes close to Him.
“Romans 1:20 tells us that through creation, we see His “invisible qualities” and “divine nature”. That’s it! That’s why I love nature but I’ve never known how to explain it through words. Thanks for the putting it into words Chan!

Chan used an excellent analogy to express how he feels about his relationship with God and I totally agree. He wrote that when he attended his high school graduation, people were amazed at who he had married. After many comments, he reflected upon his marriage and wife saying, “I, too, was taken aback. It is astonishing that my wife chooses to be with me – and not just because she is beautiful. I was reminded of the fullness of what I have been given in my wife.”
When I think about my relationship with God, I am totally amazed, shocked, and blessed that He wants anything to do with me. As a sinner, I surely do not deserve Him but He chooses to love, embrace, and take me back each time I sin. I don’t know how He has the patience to put up with me either. He, with His all-loving character, literally blows me away and leaves me speechless. The one thing I can say is that I am undoubtedly thankful for Him and His love.


 If that was just a jumble of information and 
you couldn't make much of that,
I just hope you remember this:
When you feel alone, take a look around at all of creation and admire the beauty for a second. 
God is in everything. 
He is everywhere. 
He is always by your side.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Everything has a Beginning


Anyone that really knows me knows that I tend to keep to myself. I am slow to trust and I feel as though some things just can’t afford to be told to someone who 1) isn’t really listening in the first place (because people are quick to speak, but slow to listen), 2) doesn’t care (if they did listen), or 3) will belittle my thoughts and feelings without contemplation, that I have taken the time to express. It just turns out to be a waste of time.

Blogging seems to be all the rage here at school. And for a while, I was pondering the thought of starting up my own blog however, as mentioned above, my tendency is to keep to myself. So, knowing myself, I probably would have written blogs, edited the life out of them and then deleted them anyways thinking “why would anyone care? Why would the life of Caroline Rybicki be interesting enough to write about to publish for the web-world to read, nonetheless interesting enough to spend the time to read about? ” But God, now that is something worth both writing and reading about.

Anyways, the night before I was headed back to school for my second semester of college at a school where, lets be real, I was struggling, a friend lent me a book called “Crazy Love”.  Fittingly, the book elaborates about the “crazy” love of God. After just reading the 2-pages of foreword, I had already whipped out my iPod touch (because as I was making the pilgrimage back to school, paper was not readily available), and taken a glut of notes (because I like to take notes when I have thoughts floating in my head because my memory is worse than your grandma’s...and this way I can return to them later). The thoughts were flowing and I was fighting back the tears that were eager to pour out my lacrimal puncta (I’m sort of an Anatomy & Physiology freak :)). I felt so moved! (and I hadn’t even started the actual book yet! I can assure you, it only got better from there!)

I am strong believer in “everything happens for a reason” because I believe that God leads us through situations that will shape us into the future us. He knows what we need in our life. And I was already convinced that God had planned for the book to be thrown down at me from my friend’s second story window that Sunday night because He had a purpose for it.  Everything I need/needed to hear, He conveyed to me via the book.

So, although I still am not sure if starting a blog will do anything, when it comes to God, I can’t keep to myself. And I most definitely can’t keep the amazingly love of God all to myself.  Infact, I can’t contain myself. Like the song I used to sing at camp says, “Jesus love is a bubblin’ over.” It’s so true! Anyways, I’m so excited about the book, the topics brought up, and the thoughts evoked, that I don’t know who to share with so, I figure I can post them on the internet for the whole world to know, if they so choose. I don’t know if my blogs will help anyone or bless anyone or if anyone will read them for that matter, but since I started writing, the words keep flowing (which I know I can’t take credit for because I have never been much of a writer) so I guess it’s meant to be.

But now that you aren’t “forced” to listen to me because your not sitting right in front of me, I feel more at ease sharing what goes on within the mind of Caroline Rybicki and you can choose for yourself as to whether you want to know or not.

Most of you won’t read my blogs because you’ll see they are about God and the rest of you are reading this because you are nosy and you want to know everything about everyone else. (and if you knew me you’d know that the second half of this sentence is sarcasm …I’m full of it . So please don’t be offended, but if “nosy offends you, feel free to replace it with “curious” :) ). But it’s okay if no one reads my blog. I’m happy knowing that at least I tried.

I just hope that the excerpts from the book or the thoughts that were sparked in my head can be of use/help/blessing to you. I hope you enjoy my journey of thoughts and spiritual growth as sparked by “crazy love”. (I’m shooting for one blog for every chapter put up every week, so you’ll have to be a little patient.)

As for the book, I strongly recommend it to everyone in advance! If I had the money to buy one for everyone I knew, I would do it in a heartbeat!



P.S. Just so we are clear, all credit goes to God.