Thursday, July 14, 2011

He Knows

Summer is made for adventures
Or maybe it is
Adventures that are made for summer.

Either way,
The two go hand in hand (as well as adventures and Caroline).

Adventures have found me many a time this summer.
They find me alone, with friends, with family, and even with strangers.
I have sought out adventures on foot, by bike, by paddleboat,
By kayak, by canoe, by plane, and by car.
Adventures are present at all times of day—morning, afternoon, midst a sunset,
And even in the moonlight. 
I have set out on adventures that have a destination,
But also ones that have no more plans than to see where the road will lead
(my Trek and I personally enjoy these kind the best).
Adventures have taken me to a Renaissance Fair
Where running away from a carney was necessary,
To a swamp where leech gathering took place,
To a dinner party that turned into a search-for-the-neighbor’s-chicken party,
Next to a bonfire where head-wraps and accents were present,
Sitting around a kitchen table with dear friends at late hours of the night filling the room with laughter,
At a concert where I was serenaded on my birthday,
Reconnecting friendships that I never thought could be rekindled,
Releasing a “2011” balloon with strangers in hopes of bringing in a good year,
A grueling 80 mile bike ride,
Learning how to drive a motorcycle,
Unloading trailers full of hay,
And a never ending journey of self discovery.

This summer has surprised me;
I have surprised myself.

I never expected to be spending this summer within the confines of my own home.
Camp Wakonda has been my home for the past two summers
And not being there has been heart wrenching at times.
To know that I am not able to be there playing capture the flag after dinner every night
Or even to share a meal with the amazing kids that God brings to camp every summer is a little tough, I will admit.
But somehow,
 God always knows what is best for me and knows where I need to be.

This summer has turned out to be more than I could have asked for.
I have bonded with my dad,
Spent time with my mom,
Hung out with my little brother,
And enjoyed the company of my older brother and his girlfriend upon their visits.
Family has become more important to me than ever, as well as my friendships.
When our schedules allow and I have the time to see my friends,
There is so much happiness and laughter that tears swell in my lacrimal glands.

The adventures I have had and the people I have had them with are priceless.
I would not trade them for anything.
I have learned so much, through them and with them,
About myself and my walk with God
That I almost feel like a whole new person.
And I know that if I were to be any place but here, at my home sweet home,
I would have been too distracted to realize these things.

It’s funny to look back at the past year of my life
And to see how much planning I have done, including the plans for my summer,
And to see how much things have changed.

Jeremiah 29:11 has become a verse that I lean heavily on.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

He knows.
He knows everything that will happen in my life.
He has it all planned out
And here I am frantically planning this and that.
I can just imagine God lovingly chuckling and shaking His head.

I can only imagine how ridiculous I must look making these plans for my life
That change every other day and panicking when nothing comes together.
I am like the 5 year old who is frantically flailing their arms and legs
In water that is only knee deep
Because they are too busy doing so to stand up and realize that they are okay
Because they think they know everything.
But they don’t.
If only they would stop and look around,
They would realize that everything is under control.

Thankfully, I am constantly learning.
I am learning to trust God more and the mysterious but amazing ways in which He works.
I know He is in control, 
I just need to remember that when I find myself in times of decision-making.

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way should go;
I will guide you with My eye.”
Psalm 32:8

Lord, I am following you.

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